What is resilience and how does it affect me?
Resilience is the ability to ‘bounce back’ or as the Oxford dictionary says:
"the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties"
Without adversity our lives , we are not challenged, and therefore not required to adapt. In the physical sciences, resilience is the ability for a material to stretch or over bend and still be able to return to its original state. For example a moving bridge that’s moves in the wind but remains useable.
For the human condition, it’s the capacity to remain flexible in our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours when faced by life disruption, or extended periods of pressure, so that we emerge from difficulty stronger, wiser, and more able” (Pemberton, 2015,).
Why do some people embrace the change and others crumble?
Research has shown there are many factors contributing to our own resilience, personality traits, life experience, environmental factors and even our education.*Pemberton 2015
Inner resilience seems to be the secret of success and the basic for good mental health and wellbeing.
The good news is that we can LEARN resilience. We don't have to rely on genetics or academia. It's not a 'post code lottery'. We can all learn skills to help us gain resilience.
At the end , there's a great 15 mins video on YOU TUBE called “the three secrets of resilient people’ and it's really worth watching.
How can I learn resilience?
So, what can we do to improve our ability to bounce back, to gain strength and resilience with whatever is thrown at us in life? Here's 9 tips to help improve your life's resilience:
1. Composure- stay calm and keep in control of things you are able to. Don't worry about what you can't control.
2. Patience- listen and delay judgement. It's so easy to pass judgements or have a 'first impression'. Next time, try active listening and finding out more before responding.
3. Optimism- hopeful people are happier and healthier. Be the person who says the glass is half full not half empty. Don't blame yourself when things go wrong and give yourself some credit!
4. Gratitude - strengthens wellbeing and relationships. Notice and appreciate everything around you. let go of impatience and high expectations. Don't be picky and appreciate everything!
5. Acceptance stop controlling everything. Remember nothing is permanent. Try to reframe the situation, identify how different you'd like things to be and then take action to move forward.
6. Kindness being unkind will stop your healing progress. The is much evidence to prove kindness improves self esteem, decreases our blood pressure & cortisol levels and actually helps us to live longer, healthier lives!
7. Sense of purpose- focus energy and engage. Set yourself goals. Strive to become a better version of yourself and embrace challenges as opportunities.
8. Forgiveness – decreases the pain freeing up the brain to focus on more important things to bring you joy. Let go of grudges and bitterness as they won't improve your wellbeing. Forgiveness is powerful becuase it liberates and removes our fear!
9. Connection strong relationships nurture strength and courage and boosts physical health.Be interested in what someone has to say.Don't forget to communicate your needs as well as thinking before you speak!
Remember, we are here for you and your wellbeing. We want you to feel better and become more resilient in your lives.